Assessing my thesis year

So what does my fourth year amount to? One 50-page long report detailing all my adventures into the bodies and brains of hamsters. It was a great experience, some ups and lots downs, but overall, I am glad to say that I have done it.

Unfortunately I have found that this research project has turned more students off research as a career than on, which seems to be counter-productive. What is it about research that does not appeal to people? I can say that for me, after this year's experience, I would not want to work with whole animals and research is looking quite long and tiresome. To focus one's energy exploring such detail is just exhausting!

I would also not want to work with a thesis professor who is never around. How lost I felt at times without some guidance. And when she was around, I felt like she didn't know me, making me uncomfortable and closed off. It is hard to communicate one's feelings of insecurity in research with a relationship like the one I had with my supervisor. Thank goodness I had a pHD student with me. She was marvelous.

So would I want to do research next year? I have a spot in Ottawa's cellular and molecular medicine department secured, as well as the funding. But do I have the stamina? I think ultimately, medicine is my first choice. But who knows, perhaps the decision will not be mine to make. May- the month I hear back from medical schools!