traveling conundrum

How much is an experience worth? And should money ever limit your enjoyment while traveling abroad?
A part of me is saying I should relax and just enjoy. This is but a once-in-a-lifetime experience and so I should allow myself to be somewhat extravagant. The other part of me is sick with worry and complains that I am spending too much and that I should be more conservative. Which voice is right? Can they find a compromise?
I unfortunately have no idea. I have no one to compare myself with to give me a frame of reference with regards to my spending. I am on the verge of embarking on my very first backpacking trip and I would like to dive into this new adventure with no second thoughts or regrets. I just want to have fun! But it nags, "at what cost?!?"

'Finnishing' up in Finland

Well, there is only one week left of my stay here in Suonenjoki. In fact I just spent my last weekend here and it was somewhat of a sad realization. I have really, really liked my stay here. Despite being in an incredibly small township, I have enjoyed the people, the activities and most of all, I have been completely overcome by the breath-taking nature that surrounds me here.

I have loved the lifestyle I have created for myself. Everyday there is something active to do and because the weather is so spectacular all the time, I am always outdoors enjoying mother nature at her grandest. Mondays we walk in the forest or canoe down the river nearby, Tuesdays and Thursdays are kickboxing days, Wednesdays we have orienteering or gym in the park, and Fridays are for relaxing and berry-picking.

I absolutely love the outdoors. When it's raining or when the sun is shining, there is beauty everywhere. And when it's windy, well, it is like having your very own eco-friendly air-conditioner, cooling you down as well as clearing the air of pesky insects. I have literally done everything outside this summer: reading, sleeping, eating, swimming. I have picked strawberries, blueberries and cloudberries by the buckets. I am very sad that I won't be able to have this lifestyle for very much longer and that I may never have such a lifestyle again. In the big city you do not get the peace and tranquility you do in the middle of a mature forest.

But now is not a time for mourning. If anything, though I had neither any ground-breaking personal revelations nor very much professional development on this trip, I have taken with me a great sense of appreciation for the opportunities I have had up until now and for the life I have been given. I realize now how lucky I am that things have turned out the way they have. I am just so lucky it blows my socks off. I am just so very lucky and so so very grateful.

Independent woman

When something troubles you, do you try to resolve it yourself or do you immediately seek a confidant?

I find that having lived on my own for quite some time in transient environments, and being separated from those closest to me, I have become quite effective at comforting myself and making myself feel better. That is not to say that the people who are closest to me have ceased to bring me reassurance, but when their whereabouts are unknown and their availability no longer reliable-what else can one do?

And one might think that this newly-developed skill is a positive one: being strong on your own and being able to give yourself the perspective you need to move on is a strength. However I look at it another way. I mourn the idea that I may no longer need someone to be there for me. I miss the feeling of wanting desperately to talk to the person, and I miss the bonding that takes place when you make revelations together. I miss hearing someone else's voice in my head besides my own and I miss the feeling that someone understands and cares about issues that matter to me.

In other words, with increased independence, I find my world a little lonelier of a place.