A week of random events

Well now, we are heading into the final two weeks of school and it is hard to believe that I have been blessed with only one exam this semester. Because of my good fortune, I will be going to Toronto to visit Simon and Justine (and family) some time in early December. I have also taken up crazy Common Ground shifts where I make lattes and sandwiches galore- it should be a good time.

Speaking of the coffee house, I have discovered that I am a trained Barista! Isn't that exciting? All it means is that I can work the expresso machine, mind you, technology these days can have a mind of its own, so it is no easy feat at times. On a side note, I find specialty coffees an incredibly luxurious item. It is not only unnecessary in terms of nutrition, but it is also very over-priced. I think I will cut down on my mocha consumption...but 1/2 coffee and 1/2 hot chocolate do make one killer drink.

I also had another successful event with the Queen's Asian Cooking Club just this past weekend! It was an indian-Mekong luncheon and it was incredible because our executive just picked up two indian fellows who can cook very well. Needless to say, it went well and everyone left with bellies full, apetites satiated.

My volleyball team made it to the finals! I really like volleyball, and even though we have won most of our games by default (i.e. the other teams doesn't show up...) it still feels good to say that we are currently ranked first out of (*ehem*)4 teams. We also had a touch football tournament last weekend. My floor came in 4th! I was so impressed with some of the players! I wish I was more sporty...

Lastly, I have to choose my courses for next semester. This is much more difficult than I had anticipated because I am torn between how much time I wish I have, and how much time I actually have. I must admit that this semester has not been very academic- and though I would like next semester to be more challenging in the classroom, because of Don and my honours project, I wonder if I will be able to balance everything. Only time will tell I suppose!

On a happier note- The Holiday season is upon us! I can not wait to be surrounded by family once more.

Down time

I find that people now-a-days don't give themselves enough down time. By down time, I mean just a couple hours to stare at a beautiful sunset, children playing merrily on a swingset or in my case, a blank wall, pondering all that is. I wish I had more down time. I tried to get it today as I waited for yet another resident in the emergency room. He sprained his ankle playing football. Unfortunately, my attempts at figuring things out in a high-stress environment didn't work very well. I could have predicted that. I just need time to sort out my priorities and to assess whether or not I am happy with where I am. I also need the time to figure out what I want to do in the near future and to put that in context with what I want to do in the long-term. Needless to say, it is quite overwhelming.

What do you think about in your down time?

Reflections of a Don

So it is now November. I can't believe that there is only one more month of school before exams. I only have one exam on the 9th of December but because I am a Don, I must stay here until the 22nd. sigh...ah well- it will be worth it I think, because I will have lots of time work on my honours project and to just relax.

So, I am just sitting at my desk writing a lab, thinking about where I am in my life and who I am. I have come to the realization that I think I liked myself better two years ago, because I knew who my friends were and though I longed to be popular, I knew it just wasn't who I was. Today, I find that I must act confident and social because of my Don position. I must also blend into the Western social mould to be effective at communicating and mixing socially with my floor and fellow Dons. This makes me feel slightly uncomfortable because now, I find that so much more of me is made known, made public. Before, I took quiet pride in my accomplishments, and I quietly reflected on my weaknesses. Today, it is almost an immediate reaction that I talk my mouth off to a fellow don or co-worker, gossiping and being shallow...have I changed? I am constantly being judged as a Don, and I am constantly required to open up to those around me in order to connect with them and in order to sympathize. This is actually far more exhausting than I thought.
Furthermore, I find that though I love my floor- I am incredibly insecure about it. I constantly fear that I will wake up one day and they will not respect me. Recently, other dons have commented on how my floor pushes my limits because I let them. Am I too soft? But if I get tougher-will they like me? Should I care? It is unfortunate that being a Don consumes so much of my life and thought. I wonder if my floor realizes this. I wonder if I am taking this job too seriously. I wonder if I am too attached. I wonder if I am too involved...

I wonder too much.